## tossed in

I feel like I was tossed into this world unprepared. I was taught by my surroundings that I had to earn the right to be myself. Forced to go to school or face grave consequences, scared into going to college or face grave consequences, scared into working hard for money so that someday I can actually be free to be myself! It’s struggle, struggle, fight, and win. Except it’s all wrong.

## apples day 5 (final)

It would be interesting, next time, to keep some stats as I go through the fast: weight, pH of bodily fluids, blood sugar, cholesterol etc. I wonder how much interesting stuff you can measure by yourself at home with a kit from the drugstore?.

Also next time I’m going to use something more in season — for springtime, greens?

In the afternoon, as I consider what to start mixing in to diversify my diet again, I get this bittersweet goodbye feeling. Life lesson: even that which is the source of struggle while it’s here is missed when it’s time to say goodbye. So might as well appreciate it while it’s here!

I had 5 apples today, and broke the fast with a few veggies and grains at dinner.

## apples day 4

Approximate cost of an apple fast (organic apples): $7/day Approximate cost of a brown rice fast (organic brown rice, bought in bulk):$1.25/day

This morning, for the first time during this whole fast (brown rice and apples), I’m appreciating the fast. Relaxing into it, I feel cleansed. Not physically, but mentally cleansed, sort of cleansed of my regular eating patterns?

I have more energy today! Enough for a short bike ride, wandering around shopping, and a yoga class. I’m full of crazy theories, like how this is due to my body adjusting to the new fuel source.

Sense of smell is super sensitive — wow! I can smell the breath of the person doing yoga next to me, and it’s not because her breath is stinky. Car exhaust too. And all the yummy food A is cooking.

7.5 apples today

And tomorrow is the last day! Any last requests? (I seem to be able to stand on my head/hands just fine still, so that one’s already filled.)

## apples day 3

As promised, here are yesterday’s notes.

The action-orientation remains. Instead of thinkythink, weigh the consequences, decide on the One Right Decision, and then do it (Entmoot style); it’s try this way, see how it feels, then reevaluate. It feels liberating.

I’m rearranging the kitchen in late morning. As I’m doing so, I notice the diverse and wonderful array of foods we have, and appreciate them more than usual.

I’ve slowed down my apple consumption. I started out eating a lot, whenever I thought of it. Now I’m eating approximately one apple every two hours.

I remember from last time that my saliva tasted like apples. Yum! Hook me up! Except I haven’t experienced that yet this time. WTF?

Did you know that the glycemic index measures the area under the curve of your blood sugar after eating a food? So it doesn’t say anything about whether the curve is slow and smooth or spikey. And did you know that apples are lower than brown rice? I found this counterintuitive. Apples have a GI of 38 while brown rice is 55.

Apple count today: 5.5

## apples! (day 1)

And then everything was apples!

Life has sped up by a factor of four or so. While my energy level is still low, because, well, it’s a fast; I feel more energetic, if only psychologically.

Instead of ruminating, thinking about stuff, I just want to DO things. Sugar high!?

Yeah!

UM.

I’ve had 6 apples so far today, and I think I’ll munch one more before bed.

BYE

## brown rice fasting, day 2

Why am I doing this again? Before I even started, I was dubious about the wisdom of this idea. What toxins do I have to cleanse? Am I going to get any insight out of this, or just weaken my body? Probably I’ll just confirm my insight, that many people who’ve come before me seem to have figured out, that a varied diet is a good thing. Without any answers, I plunge in anyway, with gusto.