Closing off would stop the pain. I could just tighten up, try hard, and tell myself it's not meant to be and keep my feelings to myself. Heck, maybe I'd get over it.
I don't want to. I don't want to be alone. And I truly believe there's something special there, that won't be found easily again (well, what I actually feel like saying is "can never be found"). So I choose pain and love, at least for now. How long will it keep up?
Why...? Why.. why.