How's this for fucked up? I don't believe in shame, but I feel ashamed.
I feel like I've let down family, and let down myself. I should have been paying more attention, keeping it together. I was blind. And if it's not because of me, then I should have known better to begin with.
Think of a time when you were really vocal about something, and strong in your defense of it. Then you turned out to be totally wrong. And maybe you hurt someone along the way. Then stretch it out---imagine you were pigheaded for a really long time, like years. Then it came to light just how much of a dufus you really are. How do you feel now, jackass?